Kolkata, West Bengal
In our society, relationships between people take various forms. Beyond familial and kinship ties, most relationships are defined by professional status and hierarchy. Outside of these, there is friendship.
Friendship, however, is a unique bond that can extend its essence into any other worldly relationship. What does this bond hold? As Chanakya Pandit said… a true friend is one who stands by you in celebrations, in the royal court, and even in the cremation ground, someone who is always there, no matter the circumstance.
In Vivekananda, we find an extraordinary realization of this ideal. There is no need to search for it, it naturally reveals itself in his friendly nature, which remained equally dynamic from childhood through different phases of life.
When a child first steps beyond the confines of family and begins to interact with the world, their playmates become their first friends. Narendra Nath, too, played with his companions. His leadership qualities were evident even in those childhood games. He not only chose games but also invented new ones. One day, he declared that they would play a meditation game. Although he called it a game, he did not treat it as mere play. He became so deeply immersed in meditation that neither the presence of a snake nor mosquito bites could break his concentration. On another occasion, during a game, a boy refused to follow the rules. Narendra firmly held him by the neck and made him comply. Friendship does not always mean indulging in jokes and laughter; it can also involve loving discipline.
Friendships in school and college form a significant chapter in life. We often hear of brilliant students falling into bad company and facing moral decline. But Narendra Nath was a striking exception to this. When he met Shri Shri Thakur Ramakrishna and experienced a profound spiritual awakening, he wished for his classmates to experience the same joy. He would take them to meet Thakur, but as they lacked the spiritual receptivity, they could not receive his blessings. Narendra even debated with Thakur about this, showing how much he cared for his friends.
His friendship was also evident in financial support. While staying in America, a Gujarati engineering student once told him about his financial struggles, his family had not sent him money for two months. Swamiji (Narendra Nath) immediately emptied his pockets and gave him nearly forty dollars.
He was a leader who always took the first step. When Shri Shri Thakur was residing at the Cossipore garden house, twelve dedicated devotees resolved to renounce worldly life and devote themselves to service. Eleven of them were young men, nearly the same age. Their central figure was Narendra Nath.
One night in the month of Poush (December-January), he was walking in the garden with a few of them. Suddenly, he asked them to gather dry twigs and light a fire. Standing before the flames, he called upon his friends: “Come, let us offer all our desires into this fire.” He and his friends started throwing dry twigs into the fire as symbols of their worldly attachments. It was a small act, yet its significance was immense. Such an example of moving forward in spiritual practice with friends is rare in the world.
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